In the world of reality television, casting decisions can significantly impact a show’s trajectory. This has been exemplified with Sarper Güven from 90 Day Fiancé, who many viewers feel is a controversial choice for the franchise. He first appeared in Season 5 of The Other Way when his girlfriend, Shekinah Garner, made the bold move to relocate to Turkey for love. However, this relationship was met with skepticism from Shekinah’s family and friends, who were concerned about Sarper’s lack of social media transparency regarding their relationship and his questionable past. Notably, Shekinah seemed unfazed by Sarper’s peculiar pride in maintaining a notebook documenting the names of women he had intimately engaged with.
The couple’s dynamic quickly escalated during a particularly heated argument where Sarper unintentionally pulled out Shekinah’s hair extensions. This conflict appeared to threaten their relationship; however, against the odds, they reconciled. Sarper now positions himself as the victim in this saga, emphasizing the sacrifices he made by uprooting his life in Turkey to pursue a relationship with Shekinah. In a concerning twist, he has successfully diverted much of the backlash associated with his previous controlling tendencies, which included dictating Shekinah’s weight and altering her appearance, even suggesting changes to her nose.
Sarper’s Desire for Attention in the Relationship
Sarper’s Family Introduction: A Fractious Meeting
Sarper recently journeyed to Montana, aiming to win over Shekinah’s family just 70 days before his visa expired. While Shariyah was familiar with Sarper from previous encounters, this was his first chance to impress Zionah and Mariah. Shariyah anticipated observing genuine personal growth in Sarper but maintained a healthy skepticism about his ability to substantiate his claims of change. He candidly expressed feeling like “an inmate going to execution” before this critical meeting.
“Shekinah times three, today.”
During discussions about Shekinah’s emotional triggers, Sarper labeled her as “possessive and territorial,” a troubling accusation given the history of control in their relationship. Shekinah’s sisters expressed their distrust towards him, questioning whether Shekinah was relying solely on his reassurances. She displayed her commitment by stating her belief that trust is the foundation of their partnership, emphasizing, “If I had no trust in Sarper, what would be the point of me even being with him?” Her sisters were well-aware of Shekinah’s pattern of overlooking red flags in her relationships.
“I will make her happy. I will do my best to be with her.”
Sarper attempted to convince Shekinah’s sisters of his earnest intentions, asserting that he is the best partner she could find, reiterating their shared goal of achieving “balance” as a couple. He highlighted how Shekinah’s upbringing—homeschooled and living a sheltered, rural life—shaped her character. Shekinah felt compelled to interject, explaining their unconventional background and how it influenced their relationship dynamics.
“Do you all have geisha vibes like her?”
However, Sarper’s comment referring to Shekinah and her sisters as “geishas” drew confusion and discomfort. He attempted to clarify his remark, suggesting that Shekinah’s role was one of total devotion, undertaking various responsibilities around the house without being prompted. The response from her sisters indicated discomfort with this characterization, prompting Shariyah to question if such obedience included Sarper instructing Shekinah to remain silent during conflicts. Shekinah conceded that this was the case, showcasing a worrisome aspect of their relationship.
The Ineffectiveness of Sarper’s Claims of Change
Sarper’s Troubling Past Haunts His Present
Sarper’s troubling comments extend beyond mere cultural insensitivity. During his debut, he cultivated a “bad boy” persona while proclaiming his commitment to shedding this image for Shekinah. Alarmingly, despite being in his 40s, Sarper revealed he had never been in a serious relationship. Just weeks prior to Shekinah’s move to Turkey, he shocked her by boasting he had been intimate with over 2,500 women. This boast, which should have raised red flags, was downplayed by Shekinah, who initially believed it to be hyperbole. However, Sarper later clarified that the actual number was close to 3,000. Despite insisting he was fully committed to Shekinah, he criticized her perceived possessiveness.
“If I don’t text you back for a while, [you are] kind of a b****…”
In a troubling display, Sarper continued to brag about his past escapades while asserting he was putting the past behind him for Shekinah’s sake. He reminisced about days when he would have sexual encounters with “four and a half women” in a single day, despite claiming that he was now focused solely on Shekinah. He publicly acknowledged having the “worst resume on the planet” yet continued to voice discontent that Shekinah still demanded more of him, insinuating that his decision not to document her in his sex diary was a grand favor.
Sarper’s Threats Cast a Shadow Over Their Relationship
Conflict and Cold Treatment Emerge
Shortly after presenting himself as a trustworthy partner to Shekinah’s family, Sarper returned to Los Angeles where tensions flared, resulting in a significant fight that Shekinah documented. After coming home from work and preparing a meal for Sarper, he shockingly exclaimed, “I really hate this life and I’m going back to my country,” reflecting a concerning lack of appreciation for her efforts. He subsequently denied having said certain things that Shekinah had recorded, which only escalated tensions.
In a passive-aggressive display, Sarper ceased communication with Shekinah, choosing to live on her couch, which served to emotionally torment her. His behavior highlighted a failure to acknowledge the compromises Shekinah had made for their relationship. Furthermore, it became evident that Sarper was comfortable with the notion that Shekinah would not leave him easily, indicating a power imbalance often seen in controlling relationships. This situation exemplifies why Sarper’s conduct toward Shekinah raises severe concerns.
As 90 Day Fiancé continues to paint a complex picture of Sarper and Shekinah’s relationship, audiences are left to wonder if Sarper can truly change or if his troubling behavior will persist. Tune in to 90 Day Fiancé airing Sundays at 8 p.m. EDT on TLC for further developments.
Source: 90 Day Fiancé/Facebook