Kim Sae-ron’s Heartfelt Letter to ASTRO’s Moonbin Surfaces after His Death
On March 27, 2023, Garosero Research Institute unveiled what is claimed to be a diary entry penned by actress Kim Sae-ron. This moving handwritten letter was addressed to Moobin, a member of the K-pop group ASTRO, following the tragic news of his passing. The two were known for their close friendship, having grown up together as child actors and been part of the same agency, Fantiago.
Kim and Moonbin shared the screen in the popular 2015 K-drama series To Be Continued, which also featured another ASTRO member, Cha Eun-woo. In her alleged letter, Kim reflects on her own feelings of loneliness and despair, which resonate with the struggles faced by her friend in the high-pressure entertainment industry.
Expression of Grief and Struggles
Within the content of the letter, Kim reveals her grief at Moonbin’s death and her own temptation to follow in his tragic path. The following excerpt illustrates her emotional turmoil:
“I tried to choose death because things were so difficult, but then I heard news about you. I know better than anyone, just how scary and lonely that decision must’ve been, so I can’t bear to ask you why. But did you know, I strangely missed you all of a sudden that day? I was going to call you, but I couldn’t in the end. I regret that so much. I probably couldn’t have stopped you, but you might’ve postponed it for a day.”
She continues to share her feelings of daily struggle:
“For me, when today passes, tomorrow comes. I live day to day, barely getting by. Were you like that too? Every day, every moment, I’m so tempted to follow after you. Don’t be lonely — I think I had been going through too much myself to have stuck by your side and comforted you. If you get lonely, come see me in my dreams. Then, I’ll be by your side and listen to what you have to say, just like you did for me.”
Sharing a Connection
In her correspondence, Kim emphasized the bond she shared with Moonbin and the rest of the ASTRO members, referring to them as family. She expressed regret for possibly taking these relationships for granted, which she began to comprehend when ASTRO officially debuted and achieved considerable success in the entertainment realm.
Upon witnessing how the ASTRO members struggled with Moonbin’s passing, Kim felt a deep sense of responsibility to support them, prompting her to reconsider her own thoughts of self-harm despite her ongoing battles with industry pressures.
A Reflection on Depression and Responsibility
Kim acknowledged her fears regarding her own mental health, expressing a wish that she could have taken Moonbin’s place in his battle against depression. She candidly opened up about her professional struggles and the relentless scrutiny from the media:
“I am so disappointed and disgusted by how I’m not improving, by how the media is targeting me with unverified attacks, how I am still unsatisfied. This is the job I have chosen, so I must be responsible for it. I also have my family, who are depending on only me, and my fans. But this must’ve been the same for you too. I’m not the only one whose pain started the moment I achieved my dreams.”
Further reflecting on their shared experiences, she noted:
“I’m not the only one who couldn’t say a word and rotted by myself. You probably tried to bear it pain day by day too. We should’ve come clean to each other, and cry until our throats give in, scream that we are having it hard. Although to be honest, I still can’t do it, I should’ve gathered you and the kids to do that. We didn’t want to worry each other, so we pretended to be strong and fine to each other, right?”
A Somber Farewell
In closing her heartfelt letter, Kim Sae-ron expressed her deep sorrow for not being able to support Moonbin during his struggles, bidding him farewell while hinting at her own somber thoughts regarding life and death. Her poignant words highlighted the intense emotional weight carried by those within the entertainment industry.