2 Gaming

“$700 for Cloud Strife’s Nipples? PS5 Pro Reactions Say NO THANK YOU”

As a huge fan of Cloud Strife, even I find my limits.

After a tumultuous week, Sony has revealed the PlayStation 5 Pro. With 2 TB of storage, a superior and quicker GPU, enhanced ray tracing, and an AI to optimize frame rates, it promises faster and sharper gaming experiences. However, all this comes at a steep price: $700 USD.

Given that hefty price tag, one would expect a substantial graphical upgrade. Yet, for most players, the improvements are minimal and hardly justify the nearly $300 increase over the standard digital PS5. Furthermore, unlike the PS4 Pro model, the PS5 Pro lacks a disc drive. Seriously, what kind of “pro model” omits a disc drive at $700?

As anticipated, the reactions online have been filled with disbelief. One of my favorites came from streamer @thegamersjoint, who began exclaiming, “No. NO. NO!!” He eventually stood up, walked around the room, and questioned, “What, so I can see Cloud Strife’s nipples with greater clarity?!” (Yes, in Final Fantasy VII Rebirth, you can indeed dress Cloud in a way that leaves him shirtless.)

Others on Twitter highlighted that you could buy three Nintendo Switch Lites for $200 each and still save $100. If you prefer, you could acquire two OLED Switches priced at $350 each for the cost of a single PS5 Pro. The savings could fund the remastered Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core, which, while it may not feature Cloud Strife’s nipples, (spoilers?) does depict him in a rather morose fetal position on a bed. That may be just as entertaining, if not more so, considering the cost.

Perhaps for some, the $700 price tag could be justified if there were noticeable improvements in graphics. However, let’s take a moment to be realistic—the transition from a PS4 Pro to a PS5 was barely significant. The minimal variance between a PS5 and PS5 Pro has mocked on social media.

The silver lining is that for the vast majority of gamers, the PlayStation 5 Pro fails to justify its high cost. If you’re seeking an enhanced PS5 experience, I candidly recommend upgrading your existing PS5 with an SSD instead and using that $700 wisely on something else—like rent, or around 10 or 11 full-priced new titles, or a couple of Nintendo Switch Lites, one for each parent and one to share with pets.

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